Food is the Cure
by Swish42
Summary: What starts as a normal food fight between Lina and Gourry, ends up turning into a spell mishap when Zelgadis pushes Lina's temper too far.


_Authors Note: It has been a while since I've uploaded anything, but that's life. So here is a ridicules story that some people might enjoy. I hope it is fun._

Food is the Cure

Somewhere in the middle of the country of Elmekia, Lina and Gourry wage war over the chicken leg on a porcelain platter between them. Going for a low blow, Line thrusts her fork under Gourry's chin in an attempt to stab the juicy meat. Saliva drips from Lina's mouth as her eating utensil nears her prize. Anticipating this move, Gourry throws his dinner knife down, wedging Lina's fork into the table. Not wanting to be bested so easily, the red head sorceress throws her entire body onto the table and bites down hard into the chicken leg. In terror, Gourry screams at Lina for making such a bold move and is about to remove the chicken from her mouth, but is thwarted when Lina slaps him with a pink slipper.

Striking a dramatic pose, Lina makes a V for victory sign with her left hand as she cleans the flavorful meat from the bone. After watching this display one wouldn't ever believe that Lina Inverse is now nineteen years old and Gourry Gabriev is twenty-six.

"Final verdict," Zelgadis says roughly over his cup of coffee. The moody chimera has shown little interest in the food fight, but this doesn't mean he isn't paying attention. He just doesn't gawk at this routine event like the other customers at this eating establishment are. "Lina wins this round, but Gourry will be back with a vengeance next meal, ready for a rematch. And this is Zelgadis signing off from Lil' Lilly's café, back to you Amelia." Taking a sip of his delicious coffee Amelia meanwhile offers a smile at her temperamental companion. The chimera hasn't changed at all unfortunately, still no cure and stuck seemingly at the age of eighteen or seventeen.

"It was a very close finish though," Amelia says offering her own impute in regards to the food fight. "I'm sure that it could have ended differently if Gourry knew just how far Lina was willing to go." The eighteen years old princess pumps her fist in excitement.

Carefully setting his drink down, Zelgadis gives a crafty smile. "Well, let's test that theory shall we." Closing his eyes, Zelgadis visualizes the chicken leg back onto the plate in his mind's eye. "Time which has passed, be called back once more," Zelgadis chants and with a wave of his hand a new chicken leg is back on the plate.

"MINE!" Lina screams as she lunges for the new hot and smoking piece of meat.

"NOOOOO," Gourry cries out and throws his entire body on top of the meat.

"Gourry get out of the way," Lina says angrily as she begins to pummel Gourry with a pink slipper. "That isn't fair!"

"I will not give in," Gourry says defiantly. The man looks as if he is fighting for his very life as he rolls his back towards Lina, while on top of the table, and devours the meat off the new chicken leg.

"And there you have it, you were right," Zelgadis muses with a small smile. "Round two goes to Gourry, Lina I really thought you had more in you?"

"Don't insult me, Zel" Lina says turning her fiery rage away from Gourry's back and redirecting it towards Zelgadis. "That was a cheap trick you just pulled."

"How did you do that Mister Zelgadis," Amelia asks in wonder.

"I found it in one of Rezo's notebooks," Zelgadis says casually. "The caster can restore something that is destroyed or missing back to its pervious state if they can remember what it looked like _or_ if it's soon enough after the event. Since Rezo couldn't see, he couldn't very well visualize anything. The spell can only be done soon after something has been destroyed. I think the time limit is twenty-four hours." Zelgadis shrugs. "Although Rezo could do it with a longer time lapse, it depends on the casters magical ability."

Closing his eyes once more, Zelgadis concentrates on the chicken leg. "Time which has passed, be called back once more."

Another juicy hot chicken leg appears.

Swinging her heavy hand forward, Amelia grabs the chicken before Gourry and Lina can even register what is happening. Carefully, Amelia studies the leg before taking a bite. Quickly, such caution is cast aside. Her face brightens as the delicious taste lights up her mouth. "Wow, it tastes great!" Amelia reports enthusiastically. "There you have it folks, this spell may solve world hunger."

"And round three goes to Amelia," Zelgadis laughs.

"Oh, you're asking for it," Lina says with a twitching left eyebrow. She closes her eyes and waves a hand in front her towards Zelgadis. "Time which has passed, be called back once more."

Nothing happens.

Lina opens her eyes and is disappointed to see the spells ineffectiveness. Bluntly, she curses and leans back in her chair while crossing her arms.

"What were you expecting?" Zelgadis asks in confusion.

"Morning hair," Lina brashly says without explaining herself.

"Morning hair," Amelia repeats with a confused expression on her face.

"Yes! Morning hair, I wanted Zel's hair to look like it did when he got up this morning," Lina clarifies impatiently.

Everyone stares at Lina blankly.

"But my hair is wire Lina," Zelgadis reminds her carefully. "I couldn't change the way it looked unless I had pliers or iron clippers."

Even though Zelgadis's response holds no hint of sarcasm or ill intent, Lina's face begins to contort in annoyance. There is no holding her irritation back; her temper is getting the best of her. Once again, she closes her eyes and imagines Zelgadis with the worse hair she possibly can. Gathering the power in her four demon talismans she rises from her seat. Gently she touches each of the gems as she recites the spell one more time. "Time which has passed . . .

Amelia cannot help but feel intimidated, even though she realizes that this spell is bound to fail. Perhaps it is the notion of Lina's failure that frightens her. Since Gourry doesn't really know what is happening anyway, the warrior ducks under the wood table just to be safe. Zelgadis rubs his frontal lobes as he fights the headache that is threatening to come on. It is not logically possible for Lina to simply imagine something and make it a reality, especially with a spell that only turns back material in time. The quiet man is not looking forward to hearing Lina's whining after she fails.

". . . be called back once more." Lina screams as she directs the spell at Zelgadis.

A flash of white erupts around the room and a few of Lil' Lilly's female customers scream out in a panic. Like a glimmer of sparkling pixie dust the light dissipates from the large room and leaves a magical glow. The room is sparkling clean and the owner gasps. They haven't seen this building looking so nice since they first opened seventeen years ago. The guests are unaffected by the spell, but the building certainly felt it.

Huffing and puffing, Lina heaves a sigh as she lifts her head to see the fruits of her labors. Surprisingly, Lina's attempt to give Zelgadis the worse hair day of all time is a success, but with unexpected results.

Fluffy, wild, lavender hair sits atop Zelgadis's head and it looks like he has just gotten out of bed. Lifting his hands Zelgadis runs his hand through his hair and is shocked to feel how soft it is.

Amelia gasps as Gourry peeks up from under the table. Lina blinks a couple of times, but other than that she has no idea how to react to what she is seeing.

Gourry laughs, "Wow, Zel, your hair looks really funny!"

Without looking away from Zelgadis, Lina throws her pink slipper at Gourry and hits him square in the head.

"What-what happened?" Amelia finally manages to say. Without thinking she rudely points at Zelgadis.

"I'm human," Zelgadis says as he looks down at his hands and stands in shock. His voice cracks.

"But you're a kid!" Amelia says.

"Naw he's not a kid," Lina says as she rubs the back of her head. She waves her hand in front of her face as if swatting away a fly. "He's got to be at least . . . fifteen years old."

"What!" Zelgadis cries as he looks down at himself. His clothes are much too big for him now and his belt is barley staying up with the weight of the sword pulling at it.

"Well, what do you know," Lina says. "I cured you, Zel. I believe thanks are in order."

Growing slightly pale, Zelgadis sinks back down into his chair. "I-I don't know . . . what to think anymore."

Slowly, Amelia makes her way to Zelgadis's side and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. Due to being lost in thought, Zelgadis doesn't react to Amelia's comforting touch. Undeterred Amelia pats him gently. "This is what you always wanted Mister Zelgadis. Aren't you happy?"

When Zelgadis doesn't immediately respond, Lina comes up to him and offers a hardy pat on the back. "Can't you tell," Lina says loudly. "He's ecstatic, am I right Zel."

Finally Zelgadis responds.

"I wasn't mentally prepared for this!" Zelgadis finally screams. "I'm supposed to be at least thirty years old!"

"WHAT!" Lina and Amelia say together.

"Yes," Zelgadis says trying to regain his sense of calm. "I first met Lina nearly six years ago and at that time I had already been a chimera for almost ten years. Fifteen plus sixteen is thirty-one last I checked."

There is no response from the two young ladies.

"You look great for your age Zel!" Gourry says in congratulations.

Zelgadis cannot help but smile at his friend. "Rock Golems do not age and Blow Demons age at half the rate humans do, so of course my chimera body didn't age as quickly as a human body does."

Turning to Lina, Zelgadis continues to elaborate. "Since you really wanted to give me a bad hair day, Lina, and you were using a time spell I guess I shouldn't be surprised. The last time I had a bad hair day was when I was human nearly sixteen years ago."

"So . . . ," Zelgadis hesitates. "Thank you Lina." For being someone who is supposedly thankful Zelgadis looks unsatisfied. "But I didn't want to be fourteen again. . ."

As Lina prepares another pink slipper to whack Zelgadis with, the young man's stomach suddenly growls. With a crafty smile, Lina lowers her fluffy weapon and puts a hand on her hip. She smiles. Recognizing Lina's expression as something to be feared, Zelgadis grips the edge of his seat nervously.

"Want some chicken Zel?" Lina asks. "I think it's _time_ for a rematch!"

Calling a nervous waiter over to the table, Lina orders another round of food.

"GUY'S," Amelia cries out desperately. "How can you eat a time like this?"

Another epic battle begins. Who will be the victor? It's anyone guess as Zelgadis lunges across Lina's plate for spoonful of white rice and tri-tip meat.

The End

_Author's Note: Yes, I realize that it shouldn't be possible for this time spell to affect food that has already been eaten, but that was not the point of this story. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope it makes you smile._


End file.
